Those Jawns are Better Toasted

Dear Philly,

Why do you eat your hoagies cold? I get it: cold cuts - it’s in the name. But even the bread? The rolls that have been out of the oven for god knows how long? What’s up with that? I once asked for my Italian hoagie to be toasted at Cosmi’s. Not only was this idea rejected, but someone in line interjected: 

“Keep that jawn cold, it’s religion down here!”

But what’s a god to a nonbeliever?

I don’t see any need to keep it cold. Is this city full of children, afraid of something hot or unable to blow on it to cool something down? Or is there something about the history of cold European food? The hoagie is the food of Italian immigrants after all. To that, I say this: we’re not slumming it like peasants anymore - you can afford to heat up food. If it’s genuinely a matter of taste, then you should admit that you really just want salad ingredients on a hoagie roll instead of having some croutons with your salad.

After all, it should be acknowledged that bread is significantly better toasted. When done well, the outside becomes beautifully crunchy while the inside stays warm and soft. I thought America loved crunchy, crispy things. Fries. Mozzarella sticks. Pretzels. Why back out now? Besides, that crunch actually allows the roll to hold up to those loaded up jawns. Meat, cheese, peppers, oil, dressing. What’s worse than all of that spilling out because the dam of your untoasted bread bursts? I shouldn’t need to get a fork just so I can eat the spillover, or god forbid, if I’m walking and everything just lands on the pavement.

And so you might admit that toasted bread is better than untoasted bread. But I’m not going to stop there. The ingredients should be warmed up too. I cannot be convinced that cold cheese is better than the melty, stretchy, gooey stuff. Maybe social media has warped my brain to the point that I expect a cheese pull from anything remotely cheesy, but just because the rot has influenced cheese discourse doesn’t mean that what it stands for is wrong. 

I get that cold cuts are almost definitionally cold. But we are humans with free will. Let’s not let words restrict our sandwich-making imagination. Cold meats are appropriate when they’re supposed to be preserved in a lunchbox for hungry students, construction workers, and office desk jockeys. When ordering fresh from a deli, with the intention to immediately devour, they just taste so much better when slightly warmed up. The fat of the prosciutto slightly renders. Salami gets a slightly softer texture to contrast with crunchy bread. The best hams are literally meant to be had at a dinner table, out of the oven. Let those qualities shine through.

Even lettuce can be good warm. I know what I just said. Stop for a second. I don’t mean warm to the point of being wilted. But just barely, barely warm whilst still maintaining its structural integrity. In Vietnam, we have a sauteed lettuce salad that stays in the pan for just barely 20-30 seconds. It’s delicious, even if it feels heretical. Try it out, it’s not going to kill you. You might even like it.

So Philadelphia, I end with this. Please step outside of your comfort zone. Ask for your hoagie toasted. It may just change your life.